From yearning for love to being love

As beings so deeply conditioned to yearn for love, it is critical to ask, what are we yearning for? Many of us have projected our yearning for love on the desire for a romantic partnership, thinking that partnership will be the balm for our aching hearts. So, when we are single, we yearn for a partner, and when we get a partner, we consciously or subconsciously crave for more love from them. It’s an endless cycle.

 The problem is in the yearning itself. The more we yearn for love, the more we affirm the belief within ourselves that we are lacking love. We can only yearn for something we don’t have, right? According to the laws of physics, like attracts like. If I believe I don’t have love I am going to attract a lack of love into my life. This means unrequited love, rejections, lack of interest when someone is interested in you, never finding ‘the one.’

 So, the trick to manifesting love is to drop the yearning. But how? You ask, but what if I am single and I am 35 and I know want marriage and family? How do I drop this yearning? Well, this was me 2 years ago, and now I am getting engaged and planning for the future. How did I do it? I stopped wanting it!

 I gave up the wanting by starting to love myself and the world at large. I began genuinely turning my attention towards my inner world, towards soothing my own feelings, towards loving my community, being of service, feeling deeply for myself and for humanity. Gradually, then this craving for some particular other to meet my ego’s desires for a Disney fairytale melted away as I began to discover that love is everywhere.

 The more I worked to retrain my mind to an awareness of love as a profound sense of care for self and others, rather than a desire for personal satisfaction, the more loving I became and the more love I attracted.